Well since I'm sick. I can't do anything much but just to lay low on my bed and for the very first time, I let my mind wanders by itself. I used to lock it behind thick walls so it won't betray me by reminiscing all those sweet melody of memories. Although usually it always find its ways to seep through any small little cracks that I failed to completely shut.
When I pull together a little courage to look back those pain, suffering, heart aching moments alone, I realize that you will never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. Sometimes I wonder, did I make any mistakes? wrong moves? bad choice? in every path that I walk on? Only HE knows but one thing that I know for sure is that I don't call or see them as mistakes but I call them valuable experiences in life.
Then I let my mind recall those faces, those people who appeared in my life. Each one of them played their major roles in teaching me values in life. I never blame anyone of them for how I am right now. Because I believe in life,
Good people give happiness
Bad people give experiences
Worst people give lessons
Best people give memories.
Everyday I pray to HIM for strength and faith. To help me lighten my burden to live my days. To let go of the past and to forgive for my wrong doings and mistakes because I know, in order to open my eyes to see the possibility of today, I have to close my eyes and forget yesterday.